gabrielle nancarrow
Photography by Sophie of Sister Scout Studio
Share a little about yourself..
I live in Melbourne's inner west with my husband James and our two beautiful girls, Camille and Audrey, and we are all eagerly awaiting our third little one in September! I'd love to have four children but have a feeling this one may be our last so I am savouring my pregnancy (as much as possible with hideous hip and back pain) and looking forward to my third birth which I am manifesting each night as I fall asleep, picturing myself in water and in my power.
James and I lived in New York for a long time, and that was where Camille was born in 2014. I had a doula for her birth and was so moved by the experience that I ended up leaving my job as Editorial Director at Victoria's Secret to train as a birth doula - a complete 180. Now I spend my days and nights supporting families through the most transformative moments of their lives. I feel so lucky to have found something that lights me up and just makes sense to me. It took a long time but I got there.
You opened Gather Women's Space almost 2 years ago now - could you share a little about the Gather journey and how it came to be?
Gather was a little seed in my mind for a long time. Before I had my first baby I had a miscarriage and was so stricken by a very complex grief I did not expect. I felt very alone through the experience and didn't talk about it at all. I didn't know where to turn. I started to think then how wonderful it would be to have a space where I could go and be vulnerable and share my story with other women who would understand. The idea stayed with me through my training as a birth doula in New York and our eventual return home Melbourne.
Pregnant with our second baby, I looked for a doula here and couldn't find one (it had been so easy to get one in New York, why not Melbourne?) and so I added that thought to the growing business plan I was manifesting in my mind and got to work.
Gather opened in September 2018 and we have stayed true to our vision of providing a safe and nurturing space for women with circles, workshops, yoga, meditation, birth and postpartum education, doulas, and women's health professionals.
Could you share a little about your position as a pregnancy, birth and loss doula and the kinds of support you are able to hold for Women and families?
Doulas provide the kind of care I wish everyone had access to. We support without judgement. We show up for you when you need us. We hold you through life's most transformative moments. We ask questions and we listen. We care deeply. As a birth doula I provide information, education, care and support to birthing families. I listen to their hopes and fears and help them navigate the somewhat complex maternity and hospital system.
During the birth, I support the birthing person with massage and touch, encouragement, and practical and informational support. I also equally support the partner if there is one, to ensure they feel connected and empowered through the experience. As a loss doula I support women and their partners through misscarriage, stillbirth and abortion and provide whatever care is needed in the moment.
We also have postpartum doulas at Gather and I think they should be considered an essential service for new families and adequately supported through government funding. New mums need someone to hold and nurture them so they can hold and nurture their baby.
Early motherhood is a rollercoaster of raw emotions driven by hormones, sleep deprivation, a healing body and the overwhelming responsibility of caring for a newborn. It's a LOT. And we should not be expected to do it alone. At Gather, we have a collective of 20 birth, loss and postpartum doulas and I work to match our birth workers with families as it is so critical you find the right doula for you.
Do you have any routines or practices that aid you in some you time in between being a mama, a partner and running Gather?
Life is CRAZY right now. With little children, a business, my doula work and I have also just finished writing my first book, so to be honest I don't get a lot of time for myself. Throw homeschooling in due to COVID and it is such a shambles some days I do not know whether to laugh or cry (usually I do a lot of both). Sometimes I go for a solo walk with a good podcast. I always try to get to bed early-ish to read for a while. My girls will often run me a 'surprise' bath and with a candle and a cup of tea which I LOVE. Little things like that but I am okay with the chaos in my life right now. It's hectic but there are so many moments of joy. I feel very lucky.
Could you share a bit about your own journey into Womanhood - would you say there were any defining moments?
As a girl I thought my grandmother was the most beautiful woman in the world. My grandparents lived on a farm where we spent most weekends of my childhood and I loved to just sit and watch her move and laugh and talk. Along with my Mum, she is the strongest woman I have ever known.
I don't think I personally embraced my womanhood or femininity until I birthed my first baby. Her birth took me to my edge and I came out the other side feeling more powerful and in awe of my body than I could ever describe in words.
Finally making the decision to come off the pill after my second daughter's birth and embracing my cycle for the first time in my life was another profound moment on my womanhood journey. I had been on the pill on and off for 14 years and knowing what I know now, that scares and saddens me. I had no idea my constant foginess, moodiness, headaches, anxiety and lack of sex drive could be connected to it. Coming off it changed my life.
Finally, working with women every day, holding space for them through rites of passage and honouring their stories has brought me so much closer to the divine feminine and strength of women that I ever could have known or hoped. It feels like a privileged and important role and one I am so lucky to hold.
If you had one message for your younger self, what would it be?
I have two: you are on the right path, even though it might feel like it's taking a long time to get there. And: go off the pill and learn about your body and how incredible it is. You'll be amazed.
Connect with Gabrielle and the offerings at Gather Womens Space :
